If theres something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?
Ghostb… uh… The tabloids, apparently.
It’s been a slow week for news, and nowhere is this more apparent than in the pages of The Sun.
You know your creativity tank is running on fumes when the best an entire team of journalists can muster is: ‘Our sofa is haunted’. I mean, these people are getting paid to write this stuff. Its no wonder newspapers are becoming obsolete.
The supposedly haunted chaise longue is owned by the ironically named Christine and Nigel Strange. I sometimes wonder whether such coincidences are just a desperate attempt to inject some life into decidedly limp corpses stories that have been surfacing of late. I suppose only time will tell, but if next week you see an article depicting the life and times of Finnish couple Sarah and Norge Fǘcktard, you’ll know i’m on to something.
Christine on the sofageist:
“I thought I must be going mad but Poppy, my terrier, heard it too”. Because when sanity fails, letting a dog make the judgment for you is the only surefire way to be certain.
“She started sniffing around but then got scared and ran away”
No Mrs Strange, that was probably the years of sexual abuse.
“It could be an alien for all we know. The noise is getting louder and louder. I’m scared it’s going to come bursting out one evening while we’re watching TV.”
Based on her interview I’m hesitant to believe experts would be able to find inteligent life in her house, let alone her sofa. Unless calling the national press instead of looking under the sofa yourself is just the done thing these days.
Nigel has vowed not to sit on the sofa again until the the apparent haunting has been investigated. You might want to make yourself a sandwich and stick the kettle on Nige, you’re liable to be waiting for quite some time.
